Kim and Kanye’s baby has been named, officially, North West. They will call her Nori for short, even though (A) it’s twice as many syllables as her actual name and (B) sorry, but no one is ever going to get past the fact that her name is North West.

Even though I have a feeling that Baby North is going to be just fine, swimming around Scrooge McDuck-style in her stacks of new money, it’s hard not to feel sorry for someone whose parents based such a big decision on “Hey, you know what would be funny?”

Call me if you want the number of my attorney. Or my shrink.


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