Tess Explains It All

Now for all my single girls out there, you know how exciting weddings can be. Wait…did I say exciting? I meant depressing. jk jk …You gotta look at it in a positive way. Weddings are a time to party, be with your friends, drink free booze, and dance the night away. I did just that at my good friend’s wedding this past weekend. Since I ended up going to this wedding dateless, I was happy to discover there were a LOT of hot guys at this wedding. And by hot guys… I mean 90% of them were taken so I was left with about…two. 

Let’s discuss the dancing first. The first dance of the wedding, the DJ turned down all the lights and shouted “Now, let’s start off with a couples dance!!” Well…if that isnt the most depressing way to start off a wedding for a single girl, I dont know what is. I quickly bolted to the bathroom with a friend and did shots of vodka in the stall. (Got to keep it classy)
Once the couples dance was over…I found myself glued to the dance floor. I did the electric slide, I did the dougie, I jumped in the air and danced to “SHOUT!” …I did every cliche dance possible. While dancing my booty off, hot guy #1 came up to me and we started to dance.  Everything was going perfectly until I soon realized this guy was waaaaay younger than me. This took his hotness down to about a 7 …when he could have easily been an 8.5 if he was older. Not one to rob the cradle I soon began bonding with hot guy #2. 

Bonding time went perfectly. I officially had a guy to flirt and dance with all night. Wedding = success.