How I Feel…

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Story of my life right now…

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When my married friends on facebook post status updates like “Happy 4 month anniversary hubby!”

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Zac Efron is HOT!

Have you guys seen Zac Efron’s new commercial for John John Denim?

No? Well you’re in luck. I’ve got it for you here. Prepare to swoon. Too much sexiness going on there. 

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Normal daily work convo on Gchat

Me: So I just realized something very important. A girl needs to end up with a guy who worships her. The only way a girl is ever going to be treated the way she deserves is if the guy worships her!”

Friend: Agreed. Good point.

Me: A guy will never be douchey if he worships his girl. He’ll do anything for her, and be so sweet and loving.

Friend: And I’ll worship him in return!

Me: Oh ya true. It’ll be even better if you worship him too. Nothing but happiness!

Me:Oh wait… I think I just defined love….Not that big of a revelation like I thought.

Friend: Oh is that what this is? Love?

You Deserve Love

“You deserve love. Not just any kind of love but, like big “I think I’m going to puke if you touch me (in a good way) and regress into a 16-year-old psycho if you don’t text me back” kind of love. You deserve to feel like a sexual being and have someone around who wants to see you naked all the time and doesn’t mind that you have cellulite or that your stomach has terrifying pockets of fat because bodies are flawed and you better deal with it, bitch. You deserve to be proven wrong, to be brought back to life by someone’s kindness at a time when you thought that no one would ever love you again. The song does not remain the same. Lo and behold, the person you like actually wants to date you and now you know that you’re not the hideous monster you thought you were. Your faith has been restored. You’re lovable. You have the relationship to prove it.

You deserve to have high highs again, even if that means experiencing the occasional low. You forget the euphoria you often feel when you fall in love. You know on a certain level that it feels amazing but you forget the specifics. Like, how your life immediately becomes a stupid Taylor Swift song and your heart does somersaults over something as simple as a sweet text message or phone call. Every ounce of maturity and pride you’ve carefully cultivated over the years disappears and suddenly you’re just another person who’s fallen in love and is acting like a smitten teenager. It’s totally embarrassing but you’re too happy to care.

You deserve to do annoying couple-y things like making each other mixes, walking down the street hand-in-hand, making out in bars, and posting stupid pictures of the two of you on Facebook. Yes, everyone will hate you but, screw it, you’re in love! You’re owed this experience. You’ve never been that annoying person in a relationship, or at least you haven’t in awhile, so why not just go for it and let everyone know you’re in love?”

Source: Ryan O’Connell of Thought Catalog

“Your internet presence will suffer but who needs validation from the internet when you have a real life person giving you a scalp massage before bed every night? You deserve compassion, understanding, oral sex, long, lingering make out sessions, and spooning. You deserve to feel safe and spoken for. Most importantly, you deserve passion. Big, messy, disgusting, and beautiful passion. Having that means you’re living and loving with a capital L. You’ve unlocked the secret. You get it now. You only live once so why don’t you love a lot? Time is too precious to sit around and deny yourself this kind of romantic fulfillment. When you think of all the time you’ve wasted closing yourself off from human connection, doesn’t it make your heart sick? We were built to love. Go do your job, dammit.”

If Life Were A Movie

He would have called by now.
He would have shown up at your door with flowers and apologized.
He would be throwing pebbles at your window.
He would have wrapped his arms around you while you cried into his shoulder.

But life is not a movie… 

My heart is completely broken. Haven’t cried this hard in a long time.

You know what’s fun?

Inventions like Facebook and Instagram. That allow me to see that my ex bought his new girlfriend roses. If these stupid social media sites were never invented then I wouldn’t have to stalk and see such things as this. I could go about my Thursday not knowing that he sent her white roses and that she would then hashtag the photo #whataguy

WHEN I SEE ANOTHER RANDOM ENGAGEMENT ANNOUNCEMENT ON FACEBOOK…

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