That Awkward Moment When….

you run into your “ex” while you’re with your new boyfriend…

The fact that this even happened is sort of mind blowing to me. Like, what are the chances in this large city of Los Angeles?? 

You may all remember Ryan… the guy I was dating very briefly from April-June of this year. I didn’t think to blog about it, but a few weeks ago I heard from him. He sent me a text message asking if I still lived in our apartment complex because he hadnt run into me once at our gym or laundry facility in the past 5 months. I explained to him that I had lost my key so couldnt use those facilities the past couple of months.
Then out of nowhere he wrote me “Is it bad to say I miss you?”
I didnt write him back because I didnt know what to say. I have Will now…I have moved on and am completely happy in my new relationship. What could I even say to that? So I didnt reply. Within a few minutes he wrote me “Sorry if that scared you away. I’m not trying to play with your heart. I just think you’re a cool ass chick. I like your energy.”

This annoyed me. If I was single and he said this to me, it would have TOTALLY messed with my heart.  But luckily that ship has sailed, so I realized “Alright! This is my in to inform him that I have a boyfriend now!" So I replied "Thanks. I’m actually in a relationship now and I’m very happy. Hope you’re doing well. Maybe we’ll run into each other sometime.” and all he replied was “Looking forward to it 🙂 ”

UGH! I was sort of hoping for a more dramatic response than that. But leave it to Ryan to play it cool.

So then, back to my story of running into him…

Will and I were walking into Target hand in hand when I looked up and the guy walking right towards us was Ryan. He was walking with some girl, his arm around her.

He noticed me first. I could tell by the look on his face when I finally saw it was him. He gave me this awkward look and smirk that to me said “Oh, I see you with your boyfriend. Now you caught me with my girl, too. How awkward.” I was so shocked to see him so before I could think about my actions, I sort of smiled and gave him a half wave. And we all just kept walking. I whispered to Will, “There’s Ryan." 

Once we got inside Target Will started asking ALL these questions about Ryan. He knew all about him, but I think seeing him in person made Will feel insecure and he wanted to know even more details. Will’s the type that wants to know EVERYTHING about my ex’s and I’m the type that would rather know nothing. I remained cool and casual afterwards but I’m not going to lie, on the inside I was freaking out a bit. It was just SO weird seeing him… so many different emotions. 

I haven’t seen him since August so the last thing I saw coming was running into him when I was holding hands with my new boyfriend. I was glad that Ryan got to see, in person, that I was happy and with someone else. So he wouldn’t think I just made that up. And I also feel relieved that it didn’t work out between us. It would have been months and months of him toying with my heart and who knows if I would have been open to meeting the  love of my life

It only takes one moment…

Finally… I am finding the time to sit down and write down what has been going on in my life in just the last month or so.
It’s truly bizzarre how so much has changed SO quickly. And what’s even more crazy is how everything just sort of happened at once.
I’ve been blogging for about 4 years now… and I’ve written story after story of all the struggles I’ve faced trying to find my match. A person who I could click with, feel a mutual connection with and a person I could just find my special place in the world with.
And… it finally happened.

Good news, I have met and I am currently in a relationship with an amazing man!!

His name is Will… and surprising enough… I’ve known of him for years.
About 6 weeks ago I took a weekend vacation to Las Vegas with some of my closest girlfriends. The very first night we went out, one of my guy friends who I’ve known since high school heard I was in Vegas and sent me a text wanting to meet up. So he came out with his roommate, who just happened to be Will. And it’s so funny how it happened but for some reason the moment I saw Will, I was immediately drawn to him. I was giddy he was there and from that point on in the night, I just wanted to be around him.
He hung out with all of us for the rest of the night and knowing my skills, he probably had no idea I was even interested. But something lined up for us…because he ended up reaching out to me the next day and spent the rest of the weekend hanging out. By Sunday, I had realized more and more, in just that short of time, that he was an even better guy than I had guessed. Luckily, even after I had left Las Vegas he continued to text me. And we began talking all day every day for the next 2 weeks.

I took a spur of the moment trip to Vegas to see him and the weekend went perfectly and I realized “I really like this guy!” 5 weeks after we “met” and I was visiting him for the 2nd time in Vegas, he asked me to be his girlfriend. It was fast but it just felt right!

I walked around for years and YEARS never knowing if I’d ever find a partner. And though I never gave up hope, I did get very depressed about it.
And now just like THAT, I have this amazing guy in my life. He has the kindest heart, he’s funny, he’s outgoing and he likes me just for me. Which probably sounds SO cliche…but I can’t even describe to you how hard of a concept it is for me to grasp that this guy really just likes me.

He makes me happy and smile every single day, multiple times a day.
He’s flying in tomorrow evening to stay with me for 4 days. And I cannot wati!! He’s going to meet all my friends in LA and I’m just excited to spend more time with him.

I also start a new job Monday!! Which I will discuss in a different post.

I’m talking to a new boy!!! And it’s that fun beginning stage where you’re so giddy and hopeful. 
He lives in Las Vegas…and I live in LA. I mean of COURSE. Heaven forbid I ever find a guy to date that lives in same city as me. :-/

I went to visit him this last weekend in Vegas. It was a very last minute, spontaneous trip. And as I was driving there Friday night I felt a little crazy… like omg…am I really driving by myself 4 hours right now to Las Vegas to see a boy I’ve only been talking to for like… 3 weeks?!? But then I also thought to myself… this is the kind of shit you do in your life that you look back on and never really regret. I mean dont get me could have gone horribly wrong but luckily it didnt. I will always be able to look back and say “remember that time I took a spontaneous trip to Vegas to hang out with this boy I liked? Oh the fun single days…” haha! 

The weekend was absolutely perfect. We got along so well. He was fun and so sweet. I got to go out and party and meet some of his friends and all of them were SO nice. There were a few cute moments we shared over the weekend but my fav was when out of the blue Saturday night he just said to me “I just want you to know I like you a lot.” I dont think I’ve had a boy say those actual words to me in…years… 

It’s funny because of course as I’m enjoying my weekend with new guy, I hear from Ryan asking to hang out. I just totally ignored him this time. No reply.

But ya! I’m excited to see if this goes anywhere. I’m hopeful (I should seriously tattoo the word hopeful to my body) it will turn into something more… but if not…it’s just really nice in the moment.

So the boy wants to “take things slow”

This is after 2 weeks of hanging out almost every day. Him bringing me flowers on our first date and saying things to me like “So I read this article in a magazine that said couples should tell each other every day two accomplishments they had in a day and one realization.” As I sat there thinking “Ummm, we are doing things that a magazine suggested couples do?? Okayyyyy…”

But no…NOW he wants to take things slow. I’ve gotten advice and opinions from like a million different people. And at this point it could go so many ways. He’s either completely over me and just letting me down gently by not texting me ever and not making plans to hang out ever and telling me he wants to take things slow. Or he’s a typical guy who got freaked out when things got serious too fast so now he’s backing off and figuring out his feelings. Or he’s dating some other girl at the same time and thinks he cant commit to me because he’s also dating her so he needs time to date both of us. Grrrrr….
Meanwhile I’m left sitting here feeling SO confused because his actions did a complete 180 from how it all started.

I may never know what the real reason is. But I’m just giving him space and will continue distracting myself and doing my own thing… and just see what happens. If it’s over… fine. I’ll move on AGAIN. But if he just needs time then I can do that too.

One Month Later

I’m writing this blog now but scheduling it to post a month from the day it happened. The story is too good and too important…I have to write about it…but I also don’t want to put it out there for every one to see because… it might jinx it… and who knows what could happen in a month. But here goes…

April 29, 2014 I was at the gym at my apartment complex and secretly noticed as I was walking in that the hot guy was also working out. This is a hot guy I had been eyeing for MONTHS at the gym. And although I tried to smile at him any time I could or say hello… he was still very cold and just did not seem into me at all. I assumed he had a girlfriend or just wasn’t interested.

Well on this day I walked in and right away hot guy at the gym goes “I saw you driving the other day! I was right next to you in traffic!” The first sentence that started it all. We continued talking for about 10 minutes. Just about where we work, where we’re from, and rent prices in our area. He had just moved to my apartment complex 6 months ago…

Finally he was like “okay well, enjoy your workout.” and onto the treadmill I went. 30 minutes into my workout he starts to leave and he comes up to me and says, (I kid you not) “Sorry to interrupt your workout, but I’m wondering if I just met a beautiful attractive intelligent girl who is also single??”

My insides burst. LOL I couldn’t believe the HOT GUY FROM THE GYM was saying this to me. I smiled and laughed and told him I was single and he asked to exchange numbers. As he was leaving he told me to text him so once he was gone I wrote him “Hi it’s Tess. We met by the treadmill.” to which he replied “Do you know how many months I’ve wanted to talk to you??”

I mean……

Pause for reaction….

This is a guy I had told all my friends about jokingly. Every time I went to the gym and he was there I would immediately text my besties and be like “Hot guy was at the gym again. We didn’t talk.” So let’s just say it was pretty mind boggling that this whole time he was also into me…

And the rest is history….for now…

We’ve been  hanging out non stop for the past week… I’m completely smitten and I’m just excited yet really nervous to see if this goes anywhere…

 **updated: For my followers… a month later yes we are still hanging out as of now 🙂

I’m going on a first date tomorrow with a guy who just texted me: “hooray! I’m really looking forward to it!”
How cute is that?? Fingers crossed for a good date!

Ohhh goodness. So I’m watching this new show on Bravo called ‘Online Dating Rituals of the American Male’ and it makes me question any and all online dates I have ever been on. Some of the guys on this show are nice and normal but 90% of them are douche bags!! When they first meet a girl they always say “wow, you look even better in person!” And then they tell the camera privately “she’s like a 7. Her knee caps are deformed and her waist is not proportionate to her boobs”
Like ummmm say whaaaaaaa???

And many of the douchey guys all say online dating is for getting laid.
Dear men, I can guarantee you girls are not online dating to get laid.

Girls online date because they can’t meet guys through friends or at work so they turn to dating sites to meet a larger pool of men. NOT TO GET LAID.


It All Felt Very Dramatic…

Last night I was driving home from a friend’s house late and it was pouring rain outside. I was also blasting an old TSwift song in my car and IN THAT MOMENT this guy sent me a text message.

It felt like a moment from a movie.

Yes… the same douche who has a girlfriend he declares his love for on facebook, but yet still hits me up to hang out. Don’t worry….of course I didnt hang out with him. And then he sent me a text this morning saying “sorry about last night. I’m an idiot. Have a good day.”


It will always hit you when you least expect it, at the most inconvenient time. And it never waits around. You have to fight for it.

It’s Okay To Be Single: Why You Need To Love Yourself Before You Try To Love Anyone Else | Elite Daily


The Ex-Files

It only took 5+ years but I finally ran into my ex boyfriend out here in LA. My ex and I are from the same home town but both of us moved out to LA years ago to “follow our dream.”

I knew he was out here but neither of us ever tried to see one another. And we had never run into each other ever. Which isn’t surprising since it’s LA and it’s very easy to stay anonymous. 

But tonight as I sat at the bar with my roomie I glanced over at the front door and noticed my ex walking in with his current girlfriend. I immediately slouched down and hid behind my roommate and whispered to her “Oh my god. Kevin is here!”

She slyly glanced over and noticed him too. He didnt notice us and he continued to walk into the bar and luckily walked to the complete opposite side. The bar was crowded and we didnt see each other for the rest of the night. And I left shortly after because I wasn’t looking to make it a long night.

I contimplated going over to him to say hello. Or even to casually walk by and wait for him to notice me. It would have been nice to chat with him, both of us standing there in the moment, seeing each other in LA for the first time.

But how would it have gone? “Oh my gosh hi. How are you? Here’s my girlfriend.” “Oh hello new girlfriend. I’m the ex girlfriend. Nice to meet you. No…I’m not here with a guy. Just little ole me.”

haha That possibility and that awkwardness trumped the idea of me going over to say hi. So I left, not ever knowing if he saw me. And it’s fine. It’s literally been 10 years since we broke up. It was just pretty crazy to run into him after all this time.

Previous Older Entries