That Awkward Moment When….

you run into your “ex” while you’re with your new boyfriend…

The fact that this even happened is sort of mind blowing to me. Like, what are the chances in this large city of Los Angeles?? 

You may all remember Ryan… the guy I was dating very briefly from April-June of this year. I didn’t think to blog about it, but a few weeks ago I heard from him. He sent me a text message asking if I still lived in our apartment complex because he hadnt run into me once at our gym or laundry facility in the past 5 months. I explained to him that I had lost my key so couldnt use those facilities the past couple of months.
Then out of nowhere he wrote me “Is it bad to say I miss you?”
I didnt write him back because I didnt know what to say. I have Will now…I have moved on and am completely happy in my new relationship. What could I even say to that? So I didnt reply. Within a few minutes he wrote me “Sorry if that scared you away. I’m not trying to play with your heart. I just think you’re a cool ass chick. I like your energy.”

This annoyed me. If I was single and he said this to me, it would have TOTALLY messed with my heart.  But luckily that ship has sailed, so I realized “Alright! This is my in to inform him that I have a boyfriend now!" So I replied "Thanks. I’m actually in a relationship now and I’m very happy. Hope you’re doing well. Maybe we’ll run into each other sometime.” and all he replied was “Looking forward to it 🙂 ”

UGH! I was sort of hoping for a more dramatic response than that. But leave it to Ryan to play it cool.

So then, back to my story of running into him…

Will and I were walking into Target hand in hand when I looked up and the guy walking right towards us was Ryan. He was walking with some girl, his arm around her.

He noticed me first. I could tell by the look on his face when I finally saw it was him. He gave me this awkward look and smirk that to me said “Oh, I see you with your boyfriend. Now you caught me with my girl, too. How awkward.” I was so shocked to see him so before I could think about my actions, I sort of smiled and gave him a half wave. And we all just kept walking. I whispered to Will, “There’s Ryan." 

Once we got inside Target Will started asking ALL these questions about Ryan. He knew all about him, but I think seeing him in person made Will feel insecure and he wanted to know even more details. Will’s the type that wants to know EVERYTHING about my ex’s and I’m the type that would rather know nothing. I remained cool and casual afterwards but I’m not going to lie, on the inside I was freaking out a bit. It was just SO weird seeing him… so many different emotions. 

I haven’t seen him since August so the last thing I saw coming was running into him when I was holding hands with my new boyfriend. I was glad that Ryan got to see, in person, that I was happy and with someone else. So he wouldn’t think I just made that up. And I also feel relieved that it didn’t work out between us. It would have been months and months of him toying with my heart and who knows if I would have been open to meeting the  love of my life

Life Update

Oh heeyyyyy everyone!!! So sorry I havent updated in forever.  I havent forgotten about this blog, so dont worry! But what does a girl who used to be single for over a decade and write about dating and hookups talk about now that she’s fallen in love?!?!

hahaha I guess I could talk about love…but I mean… that’s probably not nearly as entertaining. 

For the past 3 months my life has been all about getting used to this new job I started and giving 90% of all my attention to the new boyfriend. 🙂
Will and I are moving SO fast… I can barely keep up. But it’s all in a good way!
Him and I havent had your typical “we’re dating…taking it slow…” type of relationship. It’s literally been like “hi we met, hi be my girlfriend, hi I’m in love with you. hi here’s my family to meet, hi we both plan on marrying each other, hi this is where we want to raise our children..”

And I mean ALL of this in just a few months.
Scary! Right???
Except I’m not scared at all. 

I’m so happy. I finally feel complete. I finally feel relaxed. I’m totally at ease. The only fear I have going on in this head of mine is “It’s SO fast, will this really last a lifetime?”

And you really dont know. And no one can ever know that. So I’m really just banking on how confident I feel in this relationship and how I feel about him in this moment.

Blogging from work so I gotta be fast! Sorry if this isnt the best written blog. But promise to provide more updates on the regular! xoxo

I’m in Love!!!!

Gah! Who in a million years would have thought I’d be in love by September??? I mean… it all happened so fast but I’ve never felt more happy or more confident in a relationship in my life.

Every time he tells me he loves me… my heart skips a beat. Whether he says it in person, over the phone, or just through a text, it’s just the most amazing feeling in the world. Sometimes I just stare at the words when he writes it and I think “is this really happening to me?”

I was in Vegas last weekend visiting him and I knew I wanted to tell him that I love him. And I wanted to be the first one to say it. From day one he has always been so open with his emotions and his feelings for me and I’ve been more closed off. I’ve discovered in this new relationship that I’m not the best at putting words together to describe how I’m feeling.
I knew I was in love with him 2 weeks before I actually said it. But I wanted to wait to tell him until I could say it in person. We were lying in bed and I turned to him and said “I’m not sure if there’s a perfect time or perfect way to say this. But I wanted to tell you as soon as I saw you, that I’m in love with you. I love you.” and he kissed me and said “I love you too.”

He told me he’s loved me for awhile but was waiting to tell me until we went to Disneyland together in a few weeks, so he could say it under the fireworks.
I’m dating a romantic one, I tell ya.
But I couldnt have waited that long. I needed to tell him right away 🙂

So that’s my love story….

I’m In Love!!!!!

Gah! Who in a million years would have thought I’d be in love by September??? I mean… it all happened so fast but I’ve never felt more happy or more confident in a relationship in my life.

Every time he tells me he loves me… my heart skips a beat. Whether he says it in person, over the phone, or just through a text, it’s just the most amazing feeling in the world. Sometimes I just stare at the words when he writes it and I think “is this really happening to me?”

I was in Vegas last weekend visiting him and I knew I wanted to tell him that I love him. And I wanted to be the first one to say it. From day one he has always been so open with his emotions and his feelings for me and I’ve been more closed off. I’ve discovered in this new relationship that I’m not the best at putting words together to describe how I’m feeling. 
I knew I was in love with him 2 weeks before I actually said it. But I wanted to wait to tell him until I could say it in person. We were lying in bed and I turned to him and said “I’m not sure if there’s a perfect time or perfect way to say this. But I wanted to tell you as soon as I saw you, that I’m in love with you. I love you.” and he kissed me and said “I love you too.”

He told me he’s loved me for awhile but was waiting to tell me until we went to Disneyland together in a few weeks, so he could say it under the fireworks.
I’m dating a romantic one, I tell ya. 
But I couldnt have waited that long. I needed to tell him right away 🙂

So that’s my love story…. 

I’m talking to a new boy!!! And it’s that fun beginning stage where you’re so giddy and hopeful. 
He lives in Las Vegas…and I live in LA. I mean of COURSE. Heaven forbid I ever find a guy to date that lives in same city as me. :-/

I went to visit him this last weekend in Vegas. It was a very last minute, spontaneous trip. And as I was driving there Friday night I felt a little crazy… like omg…am I really driving by myself 4 hours right now to Las Vegas to see a boy I’ve only been talking to for like… 3 weeks?!? But then I also thought to myself… this is the kind of shit you do in your life that you look back on and never really regret. I mean dont get me wrong..it could have gone horribly wrong but luckily it didnt. I will always be able to look back and say “remember that time I took a spontaneous trip to Vegas to hang out with this boy I liked? Oh the fun single days…” haha! 

The weekend was absolutely perfect. We got along so well. He was fun and so sweet. I got to go out and party and meet some of his friends and all of them were SO nice. There were a few cute moments we shared over the weekend but my fav was when out of the blue Saturday night he just said to me “I just want you to know I like you a lot.” I dont think I’ve had a boy say those actual words to me in…years… 

It’s funny because of course as I’m enjoying my weekend with new guy, I hear from Ryan asking to hang out. I just totally ignored him this time. No reply.

But ya! I’m excited to see if this goes anywhere. I’m hopeful (I should seriously tattoo the word hopeful to my body) it will turn into something more… but if not…it’s just really nice in the moment.

I Think I’m Over It

You are never going to believe this. This weekend I went to the Beyonce and Jay Z concert at the Rosebowl in LA (more on this to come).
I went with a couple girlfriends and the way they have it setup is that you can park there on the golf course and tailgate for a few hours before the concert starts. 
As we were walking towards the stadium out of NOWHERE I saw Ryan standing there by his car. I mean out of 60,000 people how in the world was I going to run into him?!?! Just insane…

I noticed right away that he was there with a girl. And it just so happens as we walked by, this girl he was with immediately complimented our outfits. And with that…Ryan spotted me. We looked at each other at the same time and he shouted “Tess!”

I acted like I was surprised to see him. Even though I had spotted him first 10 seconds before. haha So my friends and I walked over to him and the FIRST thing out of his mouth was “Hi! This is my friend I’m here with. Not my girlfriend. Just want to say that right off the bat.” and I was like Okaaaaay. Then he told me that he had JUST been talking about me to her. 

My friends started chatting with his girl space friend while Ryan and I were off to the side chatting. He told me I looked good. And I replied, “I know right? Your loss. You fucked up, idiot.” 


Just kidding I didnt say that.

We talked for like 5 more minutes about random stuff. And that was it.

I walked away from that moment feeling super weirded out that I saw him, happy that I saw him when I did look good, and also realizing out of all the emotions I was going through, that not one of them was giddiness or butterflies.

So with that… I realized I’m over it. I havent seen him face to face in over 2 months and being around him again I felt uncomfortable and uneasy. Not because of the situation…but it just reminded me how he makes me feel.

It was silly of me to be on such a high after dating him for just a month… but I was seriously on a HIGH with him at first. I thought I had finally found the one…that finally someone liked me for me and it was going to be perfect and fast moving. And when he stopped everything between us for no reason, I came crashing down hard from that high. And it hurt.

Now I feel like I will never be able to see him in that same light again as before. 

He was texting me that night and the next morning. Saying it was really nice to see me. And he told me that his girl space friend thought I was cute. And I replied “haha oh really? yay”

Well he didnt like that very much because I havent heard from him since. But I’m just really not in the mood to talk to him or entertain his texts. I’m over it.

Umm…

Exactly one month later (to the date!) Apartment/Guy I Met At The Gym texted that he has a “genuine interest in having a friendship” with me. 

I seriously have no idea how I want to play this. We can’t really be friends. I don’t want to JUST be friends with him. Like do we watch the latest episode of Girls together and then we tell each other all about the latest Tinder dates we’ve been on??

Like… I just can’t.

But obviously there’s a part of me that wants to try the “friend” thing out in hopes that a) he realizes how awesome I am and falls for me and we start dating again b) he realizes how awesome I am and falls for me and I realize how lame he is and kick him to the curb leaving him feeling heart broken 

But there’s that fear that it’s going to end with c) we’re friends and he finds a girl he wants to start dating seriously, kicks me to the curb and I’m standing there like ‘fall for this shit twice shame on me’!

Gah!! 

So the boy wants to “take things slow”

This is after 2 weeks of hanging out almost every day. Him bringing me flowers on our first date and saying things to me like “So I read this article in a magazine that said couples should tell each other every day two accomplishments they had in a day and one realization.” As I sat there thinking “Ummm, we are doing things that a magazine suggested couples do?? Okayyyyy…”

But no…NOW he wants to take things slow. I’ve gotten advice and opinions from like a million different people. And at this point it could go so many ways. He’s either completely over me and just letting me down gently by not texting me ever and not making plans to hang out ever and telling me he wants to take things slow. Or he’s a typical guy who got freaked out when things got serious too fast so now he’s backing off and figuring out his feelings. Or he’s dating some other girl at the same time and thinks he cant commit to me because he’s also dating her so he needs time to date both of us. Grrrrr….
Meanwhile I’m left sitting here feeling SO confused because his actions did a complete 180 from how it all started.

I may never know what the real reason is. But I’m just giving him space and will continue distracting myself and doing my own thing… and just see what happens. If it’s over… fine. I’ll move on AGAIN. But if he just needs time then I can do that too.

I’m going on a first date tomorrow with a guy who just texted me: “hooray! I’m really looking forward to it!”
How cute is that?? Fingers crossed for a good date!
#sonervous
#whatdoiwear

Annoying Guys From Online Dating:

Guy #1: Randomly out of the blue he texted me around 7pm Saturday night and said “I got a dvd screener of ‘American Hustle’ I am going to watch on my movie screen. 🙂 What are you doing tonight?”
Me: “That sounds so fun. But I can’t tonight. :-/” 
Guy #1: “No, that’s not what I meant. I was just telling you what I’m doing and asking you what you were up to.”

Oh really?? Really? You just like to randomly text me in the middle of the day and tell me what your plans are when I didnt even ask?! And I’m not supposed to assume that that’s an invite?
Aint nobody got time for that, weirdo.

Guy#2: “So when are you available so we can go on a date?”
Me: “Next week sometime. Weds maybe?”
Guy #2: “Maybe? I don’t do maybes.  If the best you got is maybe, I’ll pass.”
Me: “Okay dramatic. I didnt mean it like that. I meant it as a question. Like Wednesday works for me, would it work for you too?”
Guy #2: “Okay Wednesday works! See you then! 🙂 “

Ummmmmm no…you will not be seeing me then.

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