I’m talking to a new boy!!! And it’s that fun beginning stage where you’re so giddy and hopeful. 
He lives in Las Vegas…and I live in LA. I mean of COURSE. Heaven forbid I ever find a guy to date that lives in same city as me. :-/

I went to visit him this last weekend in Vegas. It was a very last minute, spontaneous trip. And as I was driving there Friday night I felt a little crazy… like omg…am I really driving by myself 4 hours right now to Las Vegas to see a boy I’ve only been talking to for like… 3 weeks?!? But then I also thought to myself… this is the kind of shit you do in your life that you look back on and never really regret. I mean dont get me wrong..it could have gone horribly wrong but luckily it didnt. I will always be able to look back and say “remember that time I took a spontaneous trip to Vegas to hang out with this boy I liked? Oh the fun single days…” haha! 

The weekend was absolutely perfect. We got along so well. He was fun and so sweet. I got to go out and party and meet some of his friends and all of them were SO nice. There were a few cute moments we shared over the weekend but my fav was when out of the blue Saturday night he just said to me “I just want you to know I like you a lot.” I dont think I’ve had a boy say those actual words to me in…years… 

It’s funny because of course as I’m enjoying my weekend with new guy, I hear from Ryan asking to hang out. I just totally ignored him this time. No reply.

But ya! I’m excited to see if this goes anywhere. I’m hopeful (I should seriously tattoo the word hopeful to my body) it will turn into something more… but if not…it’s just really nice in the moment.

I Think I’m Over It

You are never going to believe this. This weekend I went to the Beyonce and Jay Z concert at the Rosebowl in LA (more on this to come).
I went with a couple girlfriends and the way they have it setup is that you can park there on the golf course and tailgate for a few hours before the concert starts. 
As we were walking towards the stadium out of NOWHERE I saw Ryan standing there by his car. I mean out of 60,000 people how in the world was I going to run into him?!?! Just insane…

I noticed right away that he was there with a girl. And it just so happens as we walked by, this girl he was with immediately complimented our outfits. And with that…Ryan spotted me. We looked at each other at the same time and he shouted “Tess!”

I acted like I was surprised to see him. Even though I had spotted him first 10 seconds before. haha So my friends and I walked over to him and the FIRST thing out of his mouth was “Hi! This is my friend I’m here with. Not my girlfriend. Just want to say that right off the bat.” and I was like Okaaaaay. Then he told me that he had JUST been talking about me to her. 

My friends started chatting with his girl space friend while Ryan and I were off to the side chatting. He told me I looked good. And I replied, “I know right? Your loss. You fucked up, idiot.” 


Just kidding I didnt say that.

We talked for like 5 more minutes about random stuff. And that was it.

I walked away from that moment feeling super weirded out that I saw him, happy that I saw him when I did look good, and also realizing out of all the emotions I was going through, that not one of them was giddiness or butterflies.

So with that… I realized I’m over it. I havent seen him face to face in over 2 months and being around him again I felt uncomfortable and uneasy. Not because of the situation…but it just reminded me how he makes me feel.

It was silly of me to be on such a high after dating him for just a month… but I was seriously on a HIGH with him at first. I thought I had finally found the one…that finally someone liked me for me and it was going to be perfect and fast moving. And when he stopped everything between us for no reason, I came crashing down hard from that high. And it hurt.

Now I feel like I will never be able to see him in that same light again as before. 

He was texting me that night and the next morning. Saying it was really nice to see me. And he told me that his girl space friend thought I was cute. And I replied “haha oh really? yay”

Well he didnt like that very much because I havent heard from him since. But I’m just really not in the mood to talk to him or entertain his texts. I’m over it.

One Month Later Post…

5/19/14
 
I am 100% smitten. Today it’s been exactly 2 weeks since our first date. I can’t even believe I’m typing 2 weeks. It seriously feels like 2 months. How has it only been 2 weeks??? Good lord…
Anyway… it’s been 2 weeks since our first date and I have not felt this happy with someone in years. And this isn’t some “oh I like him because we make-out when we’re drunk on more than one occasion” bullshit. This is the real stuff. 
I’m spending Saturday afternoons laying at the pool with this guy. I’m going on Sunday hikes with this guy. I’m watching 5 hours of HBO Go with this guy…. it’s REAL. 
And though I can’t stop smiling and I’m completely smitten… I can’t help but worry just a little bit that this could all be over tomorrow. The ‘getting to know you and dating process’ can be pretty nerve wracking. Because when you know you’re fully into it, you always worry that the other person may not be. 
I was expressing my worries to my mom and she told me, “Just be yourself. If he doesnt like you for who you are… then it’s not meant to be.” And it’s SO obvious and SO true and we hear it a million times…but it’s seriously advice I need to be reminded of every day to help me feel better and not worry so much. If this guy decides he’s not into me then fine. I’ll find someone else one day who is. 

So the boy wants to “take things slow”

This is after 2 weeks of hanging out almost every day. Him bringing me flowers on our first date and saying things to me like “So I read this article in a magazine that said couples should tell each other every day two accomplishments they had in a day and one realization.” As I sat there thinking “Ummm, we are doing things that a magazine suggested couples do?? Okayyyyy…”

But no…NOW he wants to take things slow. I’ve gotten advice and opinions from like a million different people. And at this point it could go so many ways. He’s either completely over me and just letting me down gently by not texting me ever and not making plans to hang out ever and telling me he wants to take things slow. Or he’s a typical guy who got freaked out when things got serious too fast so now he’s backing off and figuring out his feelings. Or he’s dating some other girl at the same time and thinks he cant commit to me because he’s also dating her so he needs time to date both of us. Grrrrr….
Meanwhile I’m left sitting here feeling SO confused because his actions did a complete 180 from how it all started.

I may never know what the real reason is. But I’m just giving him space and will continue distracting myself and doing my own thing… and just see what happens. If it’s over… fine. I’ll move on AGAIN. But if he just needs time then I can do that too.

One Month Later

I’m writing this blog now but scheduling it to post a month from the day it happened. The story is too good and too important…I have to write about it…but I also don’t want to put it out there for every one to see because… it might jinx it… and who knows what could happen in a month. But here goes…

April 29, 2014 I was at the gym at my apartment complex and secretly noticed as I was walking in that the hot guy was also working out. This is a hot guy I had been eyeing for MONTHS at the gym. And although I tried to smile at him any time I could or say hello… he was still very cold and just did not seem into me at all. I assumed he had a girlfriend or just wasn’t interested.

Well on this day I walked in and right away hot guy at the gym goes “I saw you driving the other day! I was right next to you in traffic!” The first sentence that started it all. We continued talking for about 10 minutes. Just about where we work, where we’re from, and rent prices in our area. He had just moved to my apartment complex 6 months ago…

Finally he was like “okay well, enjoy your workout.” and onto the treadmill I went. 30 minutes into my workout he starts to leave and he comes up to me and says, (I kid you not) “Sorry to interrupt your workout, but I’m wondering if I just met a beautiful attractive intelligent girl who is also single??”

My insides burst. LOL I couldn’t believe the HOT GUY FROM THE GYM was saying this to me. I smiled and laughed and told him I was single and he asked to exchange numbers. As he was leaving he told me to text him so once he was gone I wrote him “Hi it’s Tess. We met by the treadmill.” to which he replied “Do you know how many months I’ve wanted to talk to you??”

I mean……

Pause for reaction….

This is a guy I had told all my friends about jokingly. Every time I went to the gym and he was there I would immediately text my besties and be like “Hot guy was at the gym again. We didn’t talk.” So let’s just say it was pretty mind boggling that this whole time he was also into me…

And the rest is history….for now…

We’ve been  hanging out non stop for the past week… I’m completely smitten and I’m just excited yet really nervous to see if this goes anywhere…

 **updated: For my followers… a month later yes we are still hanging out as of now 🙂

Diet Update

Ommmmmgggg. Is this wedding ever going to get here?? I feel like I’ve been trying to lose weight for like, ever!

haha Luckily I’m down 8.5lbs. And I’ve got 2 weeks to go!!! Praying for another 5lbs but not sure if that’s possible. We shall see!!

I’m doing no carbs, no fruit, no dairy. Only protein and veggies.

Sooooo much fun.

It All Felt Very Dramatic…

Last night I was driving home from a friend’s house late and it was pouring rain outside. I was also blasting an old TSwift song in my car and IN THAT MOMENT this guy sent me a text message.

It felt like a moment from a movie.

Yes… the same douche who has a girlfriend he declares his love for on facebook, but yet still hits me up to hang out. Don’t worry….of course I didnt hang out with him. And then he sent me a text this morning saying “sorry about last night. I’m an idiot. Have a good day.”

#awkward 

Week 1

Well…well….it’s officially been a week since I first posted about the new year and how I wanted to get on track and lose weight. This first week has been a HUGE success. I’ve gone to the gym almost every day. I think I only missed a day or two. And I’m already down 4 lbs!

I know this is a lot for a week…and it won’t be this great EVERY week. But just taking a week off from drinking and eating poorly has completely de-bloated me. I feel better already. 

I’ve been cooking all my meals, doing 30-40 mins of cardio a day, and haven’t eaten ANY junk food. I’m excited to keep ya’ll posted. Because talking about it here keeps me motivated. And I hope I can continue to receive better results.

Oh my gosh.
Can you believe it??? Another year has passed!
Goodbye 2013 and hello 2014!!!

When I look back on 2013 the first thing that comes to my mind is “just another year.” Nothing life changing or mind blowing. BUT… I had fun. And everyone close to me remained healthy and happy including myself So to me, that is one successful, happy year!
Last NYE I stayed in with some close friends and we celebrated with games and champagne. It was a blast but I secretly thought to myself if I have a more tame NYE then maybe it’ll bring me something better in the New Year. Like maybe by raging so much on NYE I was jinxing myself for the New Year. (Yes this is how I think, I’m weird.) Well turns out having a tame NYE did not change the jinx because here I am…a year later…and still single. SO…. eff that noise…I’m raging tonight. 

I’m really really excited for 2014! I have a feeling it’s going to be my year! I know everyone is hopeful when a new year is approaching but I’m like, EXTRA hopeful. I am planning on changing jobs, I am getting on a hard core workout plan going because I’m MOH at my best friend’s wedding in April and I HAVE to lose weight for that. I’m thinking of starting a youtube channel and I’m doing some updates to my blog. 2014 is going to be a great year! I’m calling it now! 🙂

I hope you are all having a very happy NYE. Watching the ball drop at home on your couch, or out in all the madness searching for a midnight kiss. Cheers to all my readers! 

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!

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The Ex-Files

It only took 5+ years but I finally ran into my ex boyfriend out here in LA. My ex and I are from the same home town but both of us moved out to LA years ago to “follow our dream.”

I knew he was out here but neither of us ever tried to see one another. And we had never run into each other ever. Which isn’t surprising since it’s LA and it’s very easy to stay anonymous. 

But tonight as I sat at the bar with my roomie I glanced over at the front door and noticed my ex walking in with his current girlfriend. I immediately slouched down and hid behind my roommate and whispered to her “Oh my god. Kevin is here!”

She slyly glanced over and noticed him too. He didnt notice us and he continued to walk into the bar and luckily walked to the complete opposite side. The bar was crowded and we didnt see each other for the rest of the night. And I left shortly after because I wasn’t looking to make it a long night.

I contimplated going over to him to say hello. Or even to casually walk by and wait for him to notice me. It would have been nice to chat with him, both of us standing there in the moment, seeing each other in LA for the first time.

But how would it have gone? “Oh my gosh hi. How are you? Here’s my girlfriend.” “Oh hello new girlfriend. I’m the ex girlfriend. Nice to meet you. No…I’m not here with a guy. Just little ole me.”

haha That possibility and that awkwardness trumped the idea of me going over to say hi. So I left, not ever knowing if he saw me. And it’s fine. It’s literally been 10 years since we broke up. It was just pretty crazy to run into him after all this time.

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